MONDAY NIGHT MUSINGS

- Whenever Mattie plays with the Woody and Jessie dolls she runs around saying, "Ee-ah! Ee-ah!" (hee-haw). I can tell she's gonna be a great Barbie player, just like her mama was.

- Mattie has made some little songs up that she sings quite often. One she sings usually when she's playing with her dolly. It's a sweet lullaby and goes something like this, "Ba-by bed, ba-by bed, go to slee-ee-ee-ee-eep," repeated over and over. And then when she's playing, she often starts singing a song about jumping: "I eh Jump-eh, jump-eh, jump-eh." She's quite the songstress!

- Why is it that twice in the last week, my kids have decided that it's fun to dump nearly half of their bath water all over the floor? The first time I was on the phone just outside the door when it happened. The second time, I walked out of the bathroom for not even two minutes, and when I came back, the floor was soaked. Because I was on the phone the first time, they got away with it. The second time they weren't so lucky. Their bath immediately ended with a quick hair wash, and then they both went straight to time outs in their rooms, before they were even dressed. Moments of frustration like that bring out the worst in me...and I hate it.

- Speaking of anger, Bryce sent a letter a few weeks ago to Russ Kopak, the contractor who built our house. It wasn't a legal letter, and it wasn't an angry or threatening letter, but it did inform him that if we did not hear from him, our only choice would be to take legal action. And what do you know...the next day he gave us a call! He seems to think he has several months to get things taken care of. So we had another contractor come in and look at our yard and we're awaiting his estimate for the cost to take care of the situation. If we are advised by this other contractor to have it taken care of before Spring, yes, we will be back to hounding Russ again. Ugh.

- Mattie has hardly napped at all the last two weeks and it's killing me! Besides totally needing a nap myself, maybe the worst part is that she still needs a nap. If we go anywhere in the car, she falls asleep. And she starts to get sleepy at 6 PM at night. And she gets so ornery without a nap. Help! I don't know what is going on!

- We had a Super Bowl Party. I know - can you believe it?! It's the first thing we've really hosted since we've been here in Wenatchee, and it was super fun! Though I remember why I'm not a huge fan of hosting things. It's just so much work. Cleaning the entire house, making sure there is enough food for everyone, arranging comfortable seating for everyone, making sure the kids have plenty to do too (which is why we never really invite couples with older kids...I feel bad, but we have absolutely nothing to do for older kids). It's exhausting! It's always worth it, but still, so exhausting! And I meant to take a picture to document the fact that we actually do have a couple of friends here in Wenatchee (I know some people are skeptical :), but we were having so much fun that I forgot until most everyone had left. At one point, all the ladies were sitting on the floor in Mattie's room chatting away while the guys, and the kids, were out in the other rooms watching the game and playing. It was fantastic! That's my kind of party!!

- On the same note, I feel like I can't get anything done outside spending every single second with my children, otherwise we have 1/8 inch of water all over the bathroom floor, crying little sisters every 3 minutes, broken DVD players, torn books, eaten chapstick, destroyed rooms, etc, etc, etc. I feel like the biggest struggle in my life currently is finding a way to live up to my sacred role of motherhood - not just feeding, clothing, bathing, etc., but caring, teaching, nurturing - AND fulfilling my other responsibilities of wife, homemaker, visiting teacher, church member, etc. It's exhausting, it's frustrating, and it's disappointing because I can't seem to do it at this point. Lots of things get put on the back burner, not just one or two. And I in no way expect to be able to do everything. Trust me, I know. I actually have pretty low/reasonable expectations for myself: do my visiting teaching each month, do laundry once a week, keep the house picked up, try to stay on top of the dishes, make dinner 3 times a week, do an activity with my kids each day, spend some quality one-on-one time with Bryce once or twice a week, read my scriptures every day, etc. See? Nothing crazy. Nothing extraordinary. Just things that most people I know seem to be able to do, but I just can't seem to get it done. Generally, if I get the other stuff done, my kids spend the day with themselves, except for when I'm telling them not to do something, and I go to bed feeling guilt and failure at what kind of mom I am and fearing that the only memories CJ especially is going to have of me are going to be associated with fear and anger. If I try to spend quality time with my kids, the house ends up a disaster, the laundry piles up, the blog gets neglected, I fall asleep before I can get my scriptures read (and have it actually mean something), and I feel like a slacker. With two kids, a house, and 5 years of marriage under my belt, I thought I'd have started to figure it out by now. What am I doing wrong here? Working on trying to figure it out...

- I'm the youngest of 6 kids - 3 boys and 3 girls - and for years I've felt like there is somewhat of a void in my life because I'm not that close to my siblings. Even when we lived in Utah, I only saw my sisters every few months, and it's not like we were talking on the phone all the time. And my brothers that live in other states - I talk to them just a couple of times a year. So anyway, I decided that it was time I got to know my family a little better, know what's going on in their lives. So I emailed each of my siblings a few weeks ago letting them know how I felt and that I wanted to communicate with them on a more regular basis. My two sisters got back to me and one of my brothers. And the funny thing is, for feeling like I don't know my siblings that well, I could have predicted who would get back to me and in what order, and so far, it's been up to par. Should I be hurt, though, that two of my brothers still haven't gotten back to me? I'm trying not to let it bother me. We'll see what happens...

- Last week CJ woke up at 4 AM on two different days! On one day, he woke up to go potty. Then he went back to bed, but shortly thereafter came back in wanting me to cut his toenails - strange request for 4:30 AM! Craziness with the sleep habits of our kids here lately, at a time when I need my sleep most!

- Mattie has started this new fake cry, and it gets so dramatic that she covers her eyes with her hands...but then we always catch her peeking through her fingers waiting for our reaction :)

- Today was Valentine's Day. Bryce got up, before any earthly person should, to clean the house and make me breakfast in bed! CJ got up and helped a little, especially in writing me their card - it was so sweet! Mattie and CJ also got to enjoy the morning with their own Valentine goodies from Mommy and Daddy, and then CJ went off to preschool for his first Valentine's Day party. I could not believe all the loot he came home with - it was crazy! Bryce came home from work a little early for our Valentine's date, and he surprised me with pretty yellow flowers and a book I was interested in. Then we were off to get our - surprise! - couples' massage! It was fantastic!! After an over-priced, just ok dinner (but the company and the conversation were fantastic :), we headed home to relieve the babysitter. Then we all had chocolate covered strawberries - a Valentine's Day tradition - and called it a night. Valentine's Day 2011 was a success!!

- Speaking of Valentine's Day, I thought a lot about my dad today. I don't know why. Maybe because I realized it was the first Valentine's Day my mom would have without my dad in like 45 years. Or maybe it was because my dad was always sure to get my mom something...and when he got to the point where he couldn't do much on his own anymore, he enlisted his kids (namely me, when we lived there) to help him get things for my mom. Or maybe it was because my mom always gave us treats for Valentine's Day, and my dad's name was always on the card. Even though I always knew he didn't really have much to do with picking out the treats or anything, it didn't bother me. But one year, when I was in college, he gave my mom flowers, and then surprised me with a single rose that was meant just for me. I kept that rose for years, until it recently fell apart in one of our many moves. It's a good memory. I miss my dad...

Happy Monday!