- So I totally missed March, but with birthdays practically every week, multiple weekends out of town, and most of all, my computer being sent in to the manufacturer to have the hard drive replaced, it's been a little difficult to stay on top of things. I know there are things I wanted to remember that I didn't write down, and now they're lost forever. But I'm gonna try not to torture myself over that and just start anew. So here we go:
- CJ is turning into such a good older brother. Yes, he still has his moments of selfishness and fighting, but he really is coming into his role of protector. For example, the other day the kids were sitting on the couch just about to start watching a movie. He had pulled the blanket up onto himself, and looking over and seeing Mattie with no blanket, he put it on her too and told her it was to keep her safe. Awww. Another example, just having fun. Last time we went to Costco, CJ was hugging Mattie, and what usually turns into him squeezing her until she cries, was not the case because this time he started to tickle her, and they had a grand ol' time laughing and tickling each other, without any crying! That's the kind of sibling affection I like to see!
- Mattie has started saying things scare her...mainly spiders. At first, I thought she was just saying it, not really knowing what she was saying. But last Thursday we were in the car headed to Costco. Suddenly, Mattie started crying in the back and I could not figure out why. It was a very sincere cry, so I thought that maybe she had hurt herself somehow. She was saying something, but I couldn't make it out through her tears. CJ understood and said she was scared of a spider. I didn't see one anywhere and tried to calm her down. Then, I saw a little gnat fluttering around by the window, and Mattie was trying to stay as far away from it as she could. It was the saddest thing to see real, genuine fear in my baby girl's tear-stained face. And that was only over a tiny gnat! I'm gonna be a wreck the first time she experiences disappointment or rejection!
- CJ calls the missionaries the "mishmarries." Always makes me smile.
- Also, whenever CJ likes the sound of something, instead of saying that it sounds like a good idea, he says, "that sounds like idea, Mommy."
- Pregnancy update: I'm finally over feeling sick, but it took until I was about 13 or 14 weeks along. Ugh. Also, I'm starting to get some energy back, so I'm looking forward to putting more use into the gym pass we're paying for. Don't get me wrong though...I still love my afternoon nap with the kids (I take one even when I'm not pregnant :). This pregnancy is still so different than my others, though. Probably because it's baby number 3, but I'm already feeling like I'm huge and I'm only 4 months along. It worries me where I'll be in a couple more months. I better not outgrow my maternity clothes. And I keep having people tell me how much harder it is to lose the weight with number 3 too. Don't tell me that! Argh. That's why it's 10 PM and I'm eating an apple right now instead of the bagel with cream cheese that I really want :(. Oh, and let's see, I already can't breath when I lie down, which I didn't expect for another month or two, so I'm thinking this baby is sitting higher than Mattie was, kind of like CJ (maybe it's another boy?). And unlike my other pregnancies, I've been achy and crampy this time around, which I definitely wasn't with my others. It worried me enough to ask the doctor about it. He said it's totally normal and he was more surprised that I didn't experience it with my other pregnancies. All I know is that it's not normal for me. So you take having cramps (not severe) and combine that with the fact that I started to spot a couple of weeks ago, and you have one frazzled mama! I started having flashbacks to my hematoma with Mattie, I started fearing the worst, and I was worried sick. But the nurses, who I called multiple times over a period of 3 or 4 days, reassured me that I was not having a miscarriage. Due to the lack of pain with my cramps (just aches), and color and amount of my spotting, they were not concerned at all. That helped...a little. The thing that really helped the most was a beautiful blessing that Bryce gave me in which I was reassured that I would not have the same complications I had with Mattie and that the baby was healthy and strong and that I would have a healthy pregnancy and we would hold our baby in our arms in just a few months. I was also counseled to trust my doctor and to trust this blessing when I began to worry and have fear. It was an amazing blessing that I relied on heavily as my spotting continued for 8 days. Now the spotting is gone and I can find a million other things to worry about (like the fact that I haven't felt the baby move yet...at least, I'm not sure if I have yet), but I know that for the next 5 months I will have that wonderful blessing to turn to for comfort and peace. What a priceless blessing the priesthood is!
- Our neighbors across the street have an animal pen in what I think is their backyard (the side of the house that faces us is not fenced and has a door, but on the other side of the house is their driveway and another door with their house number and mailbox, so I have no clue). Anyway, they have some ducks and some Cornish hens and a goat. Well CJ and Mattie must have caught Spring fever because they suddenly know those animals exist (despite the fact that they are hidden behind mounds of dirt due to an upcoming landscaping project in their yard) and almost every time we leave the house or come home, they want to "please see the goat and ducks." And they always want to feed the animals, which we're not particularly comfortable with because we haven't asked the neighbors about it. But man, you'd think they had just lost their beloved JJs when the answer is no, the way they go on and on. My goodness.
- 4/15 Bryce is usually the one to put the kids to bed. He really only gets a couple of hours a day with them, and I'm usually so tired, that I'm perfectly fine with Daddy doing the bedtime routine (though he's probably not perfectly fine with me nagging him about making sure to read them stories and sing songs, and not just brush, but floss too :). A couple of nights a week though, due to Scouts/mutual or basketball, I get to put the kids to bed. Even though I'm exhausted, it's usually a really rewarding experience. To finally have the house quite, and to just snuggle together and read stories and sing songs, and to listen to their sweet prayers, I really do enjoy it. Sometimes it's hard, but usually it's great. And then sometimes it's fantastic! Like tonight. Bryce is on a Scout camp out, so it's just the three of us. After reading 4 or 5 stories and singing about 3 songs, Mattie said family prayers. Then we turned off the lights in her room and I rocked her and sang You Are My Sunshine to her before lying her down (kind of my thing with my little ones). CJ helped me sing the song to her before I kicked him out because he was being too much of a distraction for Mattie. After putting Mattie down, it was CJ's turn. He said his prayers and I turned out his light. Expecting to just give him a kiss and a hug, he surprised me by asking me to rock him and sing him a song. I asked him which song, and he wasn't sure, so I told him that I used to sing You Are My Sunshine to him too, so that's what he wanted. And so I began. At first I thought he was just being silly because he closed his eyes and had a smile on his face. But as I kept quietly singing, fully expecting him to burst out in laughter, he kept his sweet smile and his eyes closed, and even reached down and held my hand. After the song was over, I laid him down and he wrapped his arms around my neck and told me he loved me. It was so tender and so precious, and so sincere - and maybe because I'm pregnant and hormonal - but it made me cry, and it felt like a sweet blessing from the Lord. As a parent, those are the moments you cherish and you live for, you know?!
Happy Monday!
