MONDAY NIGHT MUSINGS

Tuesday June 28th - Monday July 4th

- Bribery, coercion, incentives, motivation, whatever you want to call it, Mattie has finally started responding to it, especially at meal time. You know, "Mattie, you can have some more watermelon after you eat a bite of chicken." It has made things a lot easier around here.

- CJ's been watching So You Think You Can Dance with us and that must be where he is getting his new dance moves. Almost once a day he tells us to watch his new dance moves, and then he goes on to wow us with his abilities :)

- 6/28 Mattie put on her own shoes today! Ok, they were flip flops, but she got the correct shoes on the correct feet and the strap of the shoes between the correct toes, all by herself! Such a smarty pants!

- I went to a little birthday girls' night for my friend, Lana, this week. It was so fun and nice to get out, but it also really made me miss some of my close friends. Though I've made friends here, being at Lana's party and seeing how close some of the gals are - like best friends - it really made me miss my best friends and wonder if I'm ever going to have such close friends again.

- CJ had soccer again this week. Bryce stayed home with Mattie because he had a scout activity at our house at the same time, so it was just me with CJ this time. When we got there, he was super clingy at first and I was worried that I was going to have to hold him the whole time - ugh. Before class started, the kids were just playing with balls, but CJ had absolutely no interest. In fact, he kept trying to go back to the car. I tried to motivate him with promises of slurpees, gum, and treats, if he'd go and play with the soccer ball but all CJ wanted to do was sit on my lap. When it was time to start and the coach called all the kids into the middle of the field to start, I walked CJ (it was practically pulling) out to the center with the other kids. And to my surprise, he let go of my hand and joined the other kids and was fine the rest of the time. Thank goodness! He actually has some great skills. At one point, they set up tons of cones all around, and the kids had to walk their balls, without using their hands of course, through the cones without touching the cones, and shoot it into the net on the other side. CJ was, I would say, one of two kids who were the best at this, not using their hands and getting the ball through the cones at a decent pace without knocking any of the cones over. I was very proud! I was also really proud of his pseudo-cartwheel that he did as his celebration after he made his goals (per the coach's request). Who knew he could do that?!

- Speaking of CJ being clingy, he seems to have developed some stage fright. First it was his talk that he refused to give on Sunday, then his preschool graduation on Wednesday. All the kids, which was about 30, got up to sing some songs they had learned. CJ did not want to go up with the other kids, so I went up with him, but he didn't even want to stand. He wanted me to hold him. So I sat at the end of the group of kids and CJ sat on my lap...and cried. It was really sad, and disappointing. Only one other little girl refused to go up as well, but all the other kids did great. I was bummed to not see CJ sing these songs that I know he knows - he sings them around the house - with his friends. They only sang a handful of songs, so it wasn't much, but it's just got me wondering. I know this is probably a phase that he's going through, but I just wonder what we can do to help build his confidence in front of crowds...

- However, CJ's confidence definitely is growing when it comes to physical activities. It's almost strange for me to have a son climbing up huge slides that are meant for big kids and telling me that he can do it by himself, or insisting that he jump off big things, etc. I'm not used to having to be more aware of what CJ is doing because he was never one of those "crazy" kids. But his occupational therapy seems to be bringing out the crazy in him, for sure, and it's a good thing, something I can definitely get used to :)

- Ok, one last thing about CJ. I'm so glad that I have a kid who is not aggressive. The other day at his preschool graduation, CJ saw this little blond boy and pointed him out to me as his friend, Landon. CJ said hi and waved and a few minutes later, a group of 3 boys showed up by CJ. CJ was excited and tried to talk to them and join them. They kind of ignored him, not intentionally I don't think, they were just already playing something. CJ didn't seem to mind because they left as quickly as they showed up and CJ was more interested in waiting for Bryce to show up then playing with the other kids. Anyway, this Landon boy comes trailing behind these bigger boys and walks up behind CJ and closed-fist hits CJ in the back! CJ turned around, surprised, and said, "He hit me." As Mama Bear, I tried to contain my anger towards that little boy, reminding myself that he is only a 3 or 4  year old kid and is (hopefully) still learning about not hitting. The boy didn't say or do anything, just hit CJ and left. But what made me proud was that 1, CJ didn't cry or get upset, and even more importantly, 2, CJ didn't hit him back! I made sure to tell CJ how proud I was of him that he didn't hit him back and that just because someone else hits, does not make it ok. Part of me struggles with the fact that I may be teaching my son to not stick up for himself, but I'd rather err on the side of tolerance and compassion. Man, this parenting thing is hard.

- And it's especially hard when you have no control over the influences your child gets outside your home. I knew that CJ would face things in school, but I didn't expect it to start in preschool. I mean, not only is CJ telling us he needs Sketchers, because everyone has Sketchers (someone is already telling him he has to fit the mold?!), but now he has picked up taunting. You know that sing-song that kids do: "nah nah nah nah naaaah nah"? Well CJ uses that same little song for things like, "I got a popsicle" or "I got a piece of gum." I know he doesn't mean to be hurtful, but I've been trying to teach him that saying those things to Mattie, in that way, can hurt her feelings and that he needs to stop singing that little song. However, it's proving to be a hard habit to break :(. How do you teach your kids to empathize and have compassion for others, especially when they are so young??

- This weekend we headed over to Seattle again for our friends, Kate and Kyle's wedding. Kyle started at JDSA when Bryce did, and so we've been able to build a friendship with them over the last 9  months. They are great people and we felt very honored to be at their wedding. They were married on Vashon Island and it was a beautiful day, plus it was nice to leave the kids with Bryce's parents and enjoy just each other for a few hours (seems like a rarity these days). The only other people from the firm (which surprised me) was one of the managing partners, Jim Danielson, and his wife Carol. We spent pretty much the entire time with them, both at the ceremony and the reception, and it was great to get to know them better. The whole experience just reiterated to us why we came to JDSA: because of the people.

- And I really must be pregnant because my emotions are getting the best of me lately (even worse than when I'm not pregnant). I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but Jim Danielson, one of the partners at Bryce's firm, reminds me of my dad. He's got the round face, glasses, salt and pepper hair, and gray/white beard. But it's not just his looks. He's one of those guys who can talk to anyone and who has a story for everything, usually with some sort of joke, just like my dad was. And this past weekend at the wedding, I saw another side of Jim that really got the best of me. After Kyle and Kate had their first dance, and danced with their parents, they opened the floor to everyone. And who walks out on the floor but Jim and Carol, who really showed all of us boring young adults what it really means to dance. As I watched Jim bounce to the beat, and twirl his wife Carol around, I literally started to cry. My eyes welled up and I had to excuse myself so that I could get some control. It's funny because I never really saw my dad dance much, but I know how much he loved music, and I know that dancing was a huge part of my parents' life. It's actually how they met. So as I saw this man, who reminds me so much of my dad, enjoy himself so much on the dance floor, I was just swept with emotion. I can't even really put my finger on what I felt...sadness that my dad is gone, regret that I never got to see him enjoy dancing like this, happiness in the memories I do have of him, enjoyment in the reminder of him...I'm not 100% sure. But I am sure that I'm glad I got to see Jim and Carol dancing...and I'm hoping no one saw me. 

- It was also 4th of July weekend, but I must admit, it was a bit of a disappointment for me. I guess I'm just used to the 4th in Utah, where it's pretty big. Growing up, we used to get up for the stake flag raising ceremony and breakfast (not every year, but I do remember going), go to the big parade in Provo, maybe walk around and enjoy the festivities afterwards, go swimming, BBQ (often at a park), do our own fireworks, and even go to my Grandma's to watch the Stadium of Fire fireworks. I just remember it always being a holiday of family, patriotism, and even spirituality (probably thanks to my dad), and that's probably why it is my favorite holiday. But since leaving Utah, I just haven't found the same type of celebration, the same sentiment, as we had in Utah, and so every year I'm a little disappointed. Guess I'm going to have to make more of an effort to make it a special holiday for my family (that, or just make it to Utah for the 4th every year :).

Happy Monday!