WHAT A POOPY DAY...LITERALLY

Thank goodness my kids are THIS cute!

It gets me through days like today.

First, CJ woke up earlier than usual, which is never any fun.

Then, Mattie blew her shorts, getting poop all over her, her jammies, and her bouncer.

So she got a bath while her jammies and bouncer went in the laundry.

After Mattie was down for a nap, I hopped in the shower and made Bryce lunch. Then I decided it would be a good idea to put CJ in the tub before we headed over to see Bryce for his lunch break. Little did I know we'd never make it there...

By the time I got CJ in the tub, Mattie had woken up and wanted to be with everyone, so I put her in her Bumbo chair and brought her in the bathroom with us. While CJ was in the tub, Mattie sat on the floor in her chair, and I was doing my make-up. CJ was playing one second, and the next second, I looked over to see that he had POOPED IN THE TUB (mind you, this has never happened before)!

Against my will, I began to take out all the toys that were in the tub and were now floating in poop water, and put them in the kitchen sink to soak them in Clorox. After my first trip, I met a naked CJ in the hallway. What? Who knew that CJ could get out of the tub by himself (this was a first as well)? I checked his bum, which was poop-free, and figured he was fine for a second until I could get him back in the tub. I reluctantly headed back to the tub to get the last of the toys and to reach my hand down in that disgusting water to start to drain it...

After that nightmare was over, I made it back to the kitchen to find CJ playing with some tupperware (that I just now realized needs to be thrown in the dishwasher). I dropped the last of the toys in the sink, looked down at CJ, and realized he was standing in a puddle. Wait, what? No. He had PEED on the kitchen floor (another first)!

I grabbed some paper towels and threw them on the puddle. Then I grabbed CJ and made a bee-line to our bathroom for another bath. I turned on the water while CJ stood next to the tub, and headed back into the other bathroom, dreading to see what was left for me there...

Now that all the water was drained, I picked up what was left with some toilet paper and flushed it down the toilet (along with any dignity I may have once had), and then sprayed down the bathtub with the aforementioned Clorox and left it to soak. Then I picked Mattie up, who was still sitting patiently in her Bumbo chair, and moved her into our bedroom and went to check on CJ.

Oh, did I forget to mention that while I was in the other bathroom I had heard CJ yell, "Poopy," but ignored it because I was currently distracted by the poop in front of me in that tub? Well, I probably should have listened to my little guy because after setting Mattie down in our room, I found CJ walking out of the bathroom, leaving dark tracks behind him. I didn't realize, until he had left those tracks halfway down the hallway, that it was more POOP!!

I looked in the bathroom to see that CJ had pooped, AGAIN, and this time it was on our shower rug! Then he had then stepped in it and walked out of the bathroom, streaking the stuff all over our bathroom floor and on our bedroom and hallway carpets (and we're supposed to be moving out of this apartment in a week with hopes of getting the full deposit back!). I quickly grabbed CJ, wiped his bum, and put him in the tub. And then I began to see my mistake as dark pieces of something began to float in this tub water. I had forgotten that CJ had poop on his foot (duh, that's how it was tracked everywhere), and he apparently had it on the inside of his leg as well, so bath #2 was another bust! But at least I had CJ in a contained place, so I instructed him to stay put (which he didn't like very much and started to cry), and dodged poop streaks on the carpet as I raced for the Clorox...again.

The Clorox was in the kitchen, so I threw away the paper towels that were on the floor and were now soaked with pee, sprayed the floor with Clorox and wiped it up, then ran back into the bathroom to check on CJ, who was still crying, but still in the tub, thank goodness.

Then I ran back into the other bathroom, playing hopscotch with the poop streaks on the carpet again, and scrubbed down and rinsed that tub, which had been soaking in cleaner, and began to fill it again for yet another bath (it's a miracle there was any warm water left at this point).

I guess it's ok I hadn't go on a run this morning, because I was running everywhere! I ran back into the bathroom that CJ was in (thank goodness our little apartment is all on one floor - I would have died if we'd been in our town home in Spokane...plus there's only one tub there!), passing Mattie on my way and saying my thanks aloud that she hadn't lost it yet (that happened about 5 minutes later).

So as CJ sat in the dirty tub, I began to wipe up the poop from off our bathroom floor, spraying it down with Clorox as I went. After wiping up more poop than I ever care to see again, I finally was able to wipe CJ down in the dirty water, and then transfer him to the clean tub so that he could finally get washed off. And by this time, Mattie was ready to eat and take another nap, and to definitely get out of her Bumbo chair. So I picked her up, and just in time, Bryce walked in the door (do you sense my sarcasm?)...

So the next time I'm up to my elbows in poop - whether literally or figuratively - I'll try to remember my kiddos like THIS: